Return again to who you are...and Purim

This lesson is a blowout, incredible lesson. Count on Hashem because Hashem is with you! And connect yourself to who you are, truly, inside. Also some incredible advice on humility and coming to the land of Israel. A must watch!!!

http://emunahchannel.com/return-again-to-who-you-really-are/

And for Purim…
Rabbi Arush brings some amazing insights from the Klausenberger Rebbe about the dispute between Mordechai and Esther, after they discovered the evil plot by Haman to kill the Jews.

Mordechai went through the streets wearing sackcloth and ashes, crying bitterly. Esther sent him clothes - what he didn't have clothes? Saying - you cannot come before the King wearing sackcloth! What she was saying was this: I was raised in your house and you, Mordechai, taught me that when things... get difficult, you go put on your best Shabbos clothes and dance and thank Hashem. You know that you cannot come before the King - Hashem - except with joy. If you are not able to come before Hashem, how will the decree ever get overturned?

Mordechai answered that although she was right, the people needed to know that they needed to do teshuva - hence, he was trying to awaken them to the seriousness of their plight in order that they should return to Hashem.

Her response was that this was still not the way! By getting people depressed and upset, they are only going to be connecting to the Klipah of Haman and Amalek more, through crying and complaining. Every smile wipes away Amalek - so crying makes Amalek even more powerful. Even more, being sad is in and of itself a sin, since it means that you don't accept Hashem's will. You are only adding sins to Klal Yisrael, in a supposed attempt to do teshuva! How can this ever work? Teshuva through more power to Amalek and sinning through sadness? The people know to do teshuva already. Tell people instead - Do teshuva! Strengthen your emuna in! Hashem is waiting for our prayers! But don't be sad!
Mordechai did not agree, and cursed Esther if she did not go before Achashverosh. Now, she was afraid, because the conditional curse of a tzaddik stands no matter what - hence she told the people to fast "alai" - on me. Not on the decree, but on Esther herself, since Mordechai had cursed her!

The Klausenberger Rebbe added, that if Mordechai had agreed with Esther and they had been only happy and thanking Hashem, they wouldn't have just killed Haman and his sons - they would have totally wiped away Amalek! But in the end Mordechai recognized that Esther was right, and hence the Megillah is called Megillat Esther - not Mordechai.

Purim is Coming! Special learning for Purim

Countdown to Purim! Harav Arush spoke about Purim on Wednesday both to the Yeshiva and in his weekly class. There were some amazing thoughts and important pointers - over the next week I will G-d willing be emailing even daily with important tidbits from Harav Arush on this holiday, which is the most important holiday according to Harav Arush - even Yom Kippur is "yom" the day "k-Purim" like Purim, a day we get close to the holiness of Purim. Over the 3 days of Purim (the fast of Esther, Purim and Shushan Purim) a person can bring down incredible salvations. Even more, Purim sets the calendar for the entire year - everything begins with Purim. Rebbeinu also explains that a kosher Pesach depends on a proper Purim.

Let's begin with the basics - who is Amalek?

Rabbi Arush chuckled - he said in order to know how to erase Amalek, we first have to know who and what he is! So we must speak about him!
Klipat Haman-Amalek - the dark side force of Haman and Amalek (Haman was Amalek, and the most notable one, but this influence began before him and continues today) - is the force of denial of Hashem (kefirah).... Interestingly, the most bold manifestation of this is denying the good - that is how closely tied denying the good is to heresy. Everything that comes to a person comes to him from Hashem - this is a basic tenet of emuna. So if a person denies the good done to him by the messenger of Hashem (the flesh and blood person doing him the good, for instance) then if a person denies the messenger, they certainly also deny the one who sent him!

The famous example Rabbi Arush brings is that Haman had 10 sons, and incredible wealth and power. Everyone bowed down to him in the streets! Yet the fact that one little Jew, Mordechai, would not bow to him - he says "it is all like nothing in my eyes." This is the greatest denial of good possible and the quintessential example of denying the good and letting the "dark spot" in your life overwhelm all the good in it, to the point where you feel like the dark spot is everything and the good is like nothing - when really, if you could see clearly all the good being done for you and properly appreciate it, you would feel the exact opposite!
So the war against Amalek is the war of emuna, against kefirah (heresy). This is also the war of every person, at every moment - to strengthen themselves in the emuna to see Hashem, appreciate the good, and know Hashem is doing everything for the best - or to deny that G-d forbid, and question Hashem instead - "What's going on here? What does Hashem want from me? Why is this happening?"
Don't forget to start praying NOW already for a meaningful and inspiring Purim!

Ahavat Yisrael

Rabbi Arush says that the highest form of Ahavat Yisrael (loving your fellow Jew) is hafatzah - distributing emuna. Everyone needs to learn about emuna, the simple belief in Hashem. Because Hashem is the only address for everything a person needs, both physically and spiritually, and the path to true happiness and fulfillment in life is found only through emuna, helping another Jew (or any person, really!) learn about emuna is enabling them to also find that happiness and fulfillment and joy in their life. Even more, emuna enables a person to reach their highest potential and fulfill their purpose in life - certainly helping a person achieve that is the best good you can do for them!

So when Rabbi Arush said at the funeral that we need to focus on Ahavat Yisrael (hence the inspiration for this learning in her merit) and hafatzah, really they are the same thing. Granted, Rabbi Arush was specifically speaking about getting rid of machloket (fighting), but with increased emuna through hafatzah this also happens - being able to make peace is dependent on emuna as well. How can you make peace with someone or something if you don't recognize that they are really just a stick in Hashem's hand? Without emuna, this is extremely difficult - with emuna, it's easy.

Rabbi Arush has been stressing lately just how much merit there is in spreading emuna - endless merit. He had one of his students tell his story in one of the lectures, which is basically that someone gave him the CD "Stop Crying" in Hebrew and it changed his life. He did teshuva and joined the Yeshiva, and now has given out thousands of books and CDs himself. All of that is in the merit of the person who gave him one single CD, someone who didn't even know him. He also uses the analogy of a father who has a son who is very distant - what reward is that father willing to give to someone who helps bring his wayward son closer?!

Maybe you're wondering how you can really get involved in spreading emuna. Not everyone is cut out to speak to random people, after all, and I still struggle with it. Here are a few suggestions:

Carry emuna materials with you, and leave them around! I always have some Margoliot (mini books) and CDs with me - and guess what they are now in English! The Gems series! Contact me for info on how to get them sent to you and you can get them super discount in bulk in order to give out as well. Anyway, I keep a mix of them in my purse, and I leave a few in a waiting room wherever I am, wherever I go, with the other books and magazines usually out at such places. Leave them next to the cashier at a Jewish bookstore or restaurant. And you might be surprised how many easy situations Hashem sends you - oftentimes people ask me about my kemea (special necklace with Likutei Moharan inside) and end up with some mini books or a CD in their hands. It's actually very easy - have you heard of the Garden of Emuna? If they say yes - great, here is some more! And if they say no, I hand them Pearls of Emuna mini book - here, find out what it's all about, it changed my life and it can change yours too. Also, if you know someone going through a rough time, send them a book or a mini book or a CD. When someone sends me a story of someone in need, I send them The Garden of Emuna along with a donation anonymously. Pray about it and Hashem will certainly give you lots of great ideas that will be super easy for you!

Don't forget, of course, to do hafatzah with yourself. Carve out a few minutes a day or a week to read a book, listen to a CD, download one of the Chabura recordings, listen to a shiur on Emunah Channel - whatever! Personally, my few minutes of learning is like grounding time, time that then affects the rest of my day, because now I'm starting from a place of emuna, trying to remember emuna, connected to Hashem and to the truth. And even if my learning is at the end of my long day, it still makes a difference. All the difference, in fact.

Don't Sell Yourself as a Slave

In our current chapter in Women’s Wisdom, Rabbi Arush has been stressing the importance of hakarat hatov – appreciating the good. In essence, he explains, it is the foundation on which emuna is built – if you are not recognizing the Creator, you can't come to have emuna in Him. And if you don’t recognize the messenger that Hashem is sending, then for sure you will never come to recognize the One who sent him! This is the most basic level – to recognize that Hashem doesn’t owe you anything, and therefore everything you have, no matter who it comes from (or through), is a gift for which you must be grateful. At the highest level, this is being so grateful to Hashem for everything, that you cannot possibly sin against Him – how can I misuse the body Hashem gave me? The breath that Hashem gave me? (each and every one). So on and so forth…and this gratitude to Hashem is so encompassing that you spend every moment serving Hashem in gratitude, unable to move against His will.

It’s an incredibly high level, one I can sort of imagine – and that’s about it! But in working to practice his advice in my everyday life, I have noticed that it is truly changing my relationships. Even more fundamental to the gratitude is that you can't take anything for granted – and seeing just how much I do in fact take for granted has been really eye-opening to me. The mind can only hold so many things in the front of it – so when I was busy seeing how much I was lacking, how much wasn’t being done to my liking, etc. etc. – that is what I noticed. Now that I'm working on filling my gratitude quota for the day, I'm noticing just how much is being done around me, and there isn’t as much room for complaining, being disappointed, and feeling like I'm doing all the work and pulling the weight around here. It’s like a ton of frustration and tension has just been lifted from the house. Lo and behold, just as Rabbi Arush promises, as those around me notice that I actually noticed what they did, and really thanked them from my heart – indeed they are doing more to boot!

Anyway, please listen to the Chabura recordings and check it out in The Garden of Gratitude. I really cannot properly put into words the extreme change I am witnessing around me, happening now only because I'm really working on this idea with lots of prodding from Rabbi Arush (between the two books I'm learning, at the same time!). I want everyone to experience how much your life can and will change just from this incredibly simple piece of advice! You will see what you want to see – start praying and really trying only to notice the good in others, to pay attention to every single small good that you receive from anyone and thanking them for it!

Amazing news, outright miracles

I have beyond incredible news – Reb Shimon Arush and his family – all four of them – left the hospital today!!! Outright miracles!!!

That being said, it is not easy. The family still needs treatments (I don’t know details) and physical support, especially since neither parent is strong and healthy enough to deal with 2 healthy kids, let alone 2 sick kids just out of the hospital. Additionally, emotionally, now the reality of little Faige Chana z”l is really hitting them – I spoke today with Daniela, and my husband with Reb Shimon, and both of us felt the same thing after getting off the phone – they both sounded really weak, like we could hardly hear them. Hardly themselves. But Reb Shimon was really strong with my husband: “Rak Todah. Rak Todah” – “Only thank you.”

I hear Harav in my head over and over again: thank you Hashem that the rest of the family is alive. That in the merit of Faige Chana z”l who was taken as a korban for all of Klal Yisrael, they are alive to live through the suffering in the first place. Alive. And out of the hospital. To not deny the good done for us, in our pain over the loss.

Harav Arush was very strong in his shiur tonight – one way or another, a person must speak to Hashem. If you are not at the level of emuna to say thank you for everything, OK. So go to Hashem and say “It hurts me. It is hard for me. I don’t understand. Give me emuna. Give me the emuna to say thank you.” But go to Hashem!!! And to focus on your will – maybe you can't do something. But go to Hashem and say “I WANT to do this.” The only true free choice (bechira) that we have is our will, our good desires. The success (or failure) is only up to Hashem, but we can choose what we want, what we yearn for.

Holy yearning is the highest thing. In a class for Rebbe Nachman’s yahrtzeit a few years ago, Rabbi Arush spoke about the tremendous importance of good will and yearning for holiness, for emuna, for Hashem. The yearning creates angels which run around the world. A person can run into that angel, and suddenly, they wake up and desire what you yearned for! Even the biggest rasha (evil person), if he runs into that good will you created, and he has just a single thought of teshuva – just a thought! (hirhur) of doing teshuva – all his sins are erased, and now he can truly do teshuva because he doesn’t have harsh judgments on him. In the next world, you get the merit of this person doing teshuva, and you’re like – I don’t know him! Yes, but he did teshuva because of your desire!!!

So don’t get frustrated if you want to do something, and it’s not your level. You want to thank Hashem and not deny the good He did in healing Reb Shimon’s family, but you just can't get over the pain of losing Faige Chana z”l. It’s OK. Ask Hashem to give you that level, to give you complete emuna, to help you not kick the suffering and deny the good. Want to be at that level, and do your very best to thank Hashem. So you wanted to do that mitzvah, and you could not. Don’t let the Evil Inclination get you down – your holy will, and prayers to fulfill that mitzvah in the future are so precious. More precious, in fact, than even doing that mitzvah without will. In whatever you do or don’t accomplish, the main thing is the will!

Update on Arush Family

I am overjoyed to report that all are significantly on the mend! My husband was finally able to go tonight, and I was able to reach another friend who visited him at the end of the last week. Reb Shimon Arush is doing much, much better and the hospital is even getting ready to release him!!! Mamash complete miracles. Right now the word is that his wife is going to be kept in Shimirat Herayon (pregnancy hospital bedrest) until she delivers, and I hear that the children are doing much better, but I don’t have details about their release. Our friend believes that they are indeed expected to make a complete recovery, but I don’t have confirmation about that. We were hoping to get some details from Reb Shimon, but he needed to rest and obviously my husband was not going to press him.

I will continue to send updates as I have them.

Additionally, the following was printed in the Chut shel Chessed weekly Torah portion newsletter for this past Shabbos, Beshalach:

A person is required to bless on the bad just as he blesses on the good“Happy is the man that Hashem gives him suffering.” Happy are we that Hashem has chosen us to bring a pure, clean korban (offering) on the Altar of atonement, thank you Hashem that we merited almost two years of the free gift of the presence of the pleasant child Faige Chana z”l (her memory should be a blessing).

We have no choice other than to accept the suffering with love and joy, to thank Hashem that He left the other members of the family alive, and that He has graced us with the daat (holy knowledge) of gratitude and emuna.

Now we need to wake up Am Yisrael to have even more strength to know and believe with complete emuna that from the mouth on high evil does not leave (ie Hashem does not do anything evil), and we must not kick the direction of Hashem Blessed be He, our merciful Father, our perfect Rock – and certainly then we will see eye to eye (ie with our own eyes) how everything is only good for us and all of Am Yisrael, and through us accepting the suffering with love we will turn over the trait of judgment to the trait of mercy and bring redemption and salvation to the whole world.

Similarly when we see harsh judgments and the trait of judgment is taking the lives of gentle children who are free of sin, we must wake up and strengthen ourselves in all aspects of (mitzvot) between man and fellow man, and first and foremost, to distance ourselves from all discord and arguments and baseless hatred, only to honor one to the other and to speak kindly and with honor to every person, and in this merit Hashem will say to stop the slaughter, and send a complete healing to all the sick of Am Yisrael and in particular to those injured in the car crash: Shimon Machluf ben Miriam Varda, Daniela bat Zahava Chaya, Nachman ben Daniela and Miriam bat Daniela.

Accepting the Tiny Suffering with Emuna

Harav Arush explains in Gates of Gratitude that by thanking Hashem for the small things, even the most tiny things, and accepting them with emuna, one can spare himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering, AND atone for all his sins! Sounds incredible – and it’s really very easy except that we need first to believe completely in Divine Providence even over the tiniest happening.

One example he gives is a person who asks for a hot drink, and receives a cold one – or vise-versa. Accepting this with emuna means taking this very small happening and seeing only Hashem and His Divine Providence – and saying: This is what Hashem wants, and therefore this is what Hashem wants! Such a person smiles, and drinks the “incorrect” drink happily. If the waitress, or wife, or child comes up to him saying – “Oh my, I made a mistake! I'm so sorry! Do you want me to exchange your hot chocolate for the shoko that you ordered?” he says – “No mistakes here, kacha Hashem rotzeh – this is what Hashem wants! Thank you so much!” This person adds mitzvot to his mitzvot, atones for all his sins, and spares himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering.

Let’s see what the opposite looks like – such a person fails to see Hashem and His Divine Providence. Instead, he yells and insults the waitress, his wife, or the child who made the mistake: “You never get it right! This is too cold! This is too hot! I wanted something else! Do you have a brain in your head?” and the like. This person adds many sins to his basket, of course gets no atonement for his sins and will get much more suffering his way c”v.

These examples make this concept seem oh-so-easy. But in real life, I'm finding it very difficult to fulfill. Do I accept it with love when my toddler throws paper pieces all over his just cleaned room and hallway, not yell or get angry, and say – Thank you Hashem for sparing me much worse suffering! Kacha Hashem rotzeh! Hashem did this! Or do I see the toddler… the examples are endless because these little sufferings happen absolutely all the time. They are for the very best if we see Hashem through them, accept them with love and don’t sin against the person or thing which brought us the suffering – including ourselves and the seeming mistakes we make. A person stubs his toe – do you say “Thank you Hashem” or blame yourself for missing the doorstop? As I've begun to notice my reactions, inevitably what seems like such a simple, obvious teaching becomes readily apparent for the very big work that it is. But the first step, as always – is to recognize that this is the truth, want to fulfill it, and PRAY to fulfill it.

Emuna is the Only Answer to Fear and the Only Way to Cope

In response to a Q&A regarding a little boy who is now afraid to go to sleep, and when told that Hashem guards him, asked: "And where was Hashem for the 3 boys who were kidnapped?!" The mother asked in a forum for the answer to her son, and herself.

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I also asked this same question, just like the mother who wrote in, we are all asking this question, kal v’chomer after Har Nof and all the other things that are happening to the Jewish people. I also am afraid. This little boy doesn’t need child therapy – he just has less keilim to cope ie deny the fear than we adults do! He needs the answer, just like his mother, just like me, just like all of Klal Yisrael.

Well there is only one answer, and that is emuna. It is pashut Halacha from the Shulchan Aruch that a Jew must know that everything Hashem does is GOOD. This is emuna – which is also the very first commandment in the Torah – to know Hashem. We must know Hashem, believe in Him and know that everything He does is for the very best! Of course we all constantly need to strengthen our emuna, especially in the face of such tragedies, but it is the ONLY ANSWER. The only answer to the questions, and the only answer to the fear. The reality is that we cannot understand what Hashem is doing – if we could then we would be G-d Himself. But we can see His goodness in other ways and thereby strengthen our emuna to know that everything He does is indeed good, even and especially when we cannot see it. The Midrash says that when Moshiach comes, we will get a double nechama – we will know that there will be no more suffering, which is a big nechama. But Moshiach will also show us that all of history was all for the best, he will turn around the tapestry that we’ve only seen the underside of so to speak – and knowing that all the suffering was for the best will be an even greater nechama. We don’t have to wait for Moshiach! We can strengthen our emuna now, to know that everything is for the best, that things might seem so very out of control but truly Hashem IS indeed in control of all of it – ein od milvado (that means no terrorist has power for us to fear them!), and if we just call out to Him in prayer, just like we did in Mitzrayim, then Hashem will surely redeem us, just like He did in Mitrayim!

Surely we all need to pray for emuna, especially to really believe that everything is for the very best, and we also to pray to not bear the brunt of such tests R”L. And we have to learn about emuna, just like every other mitzvah in the Torah – the books I found the most helpful were The Garden of Emuna and The Garden of Gratitude, both by Rabbi Shalom Arush Shlita. Although there are many others, I found these books in particular to lay out the fundamentals of these mitzvot the most clearly and understandably, with lots of stories, examples and inspiration. I can personally vouch that the only reason why I am at least partially sane and not totally frozen by this same fear is because of these books which taught me emuna. Although obviously having 100% belief with no fear whatsoever is a work in progress, just having the answer, and knowing where to turn with these questions helps immensely. In fact it’s everything!