Does the Hechsher Matter?

I'm always looking for new, good places to go to eat. Hey, I get hungry and I miss takeout sometimes, although Baruch Hashem I am cooking a lot now in my apartment.

Anyway, so I'm walking around near the shuk and I see this big sign on a meat restaurant - "Kosher L'Mehadrin." In this neighborhood that is pretty rare, so I decide to stop in and check it out.

I'm looking on the wall - there is a current Rabbanut Stam Yerushalayim (something I personally don't eat). Then there is another Mehadrin hechsher under it (2 hechshers is not so uncommon). However, this mehadrin "hechsher" doesn't look familiar - in fact, it looks fake. I pull out my list of fake mehadrin hechshers, and while this one isn't exactly like anything on the list, it sure looks like a mixture of a few of them.

I decide to get a bit closer to check it out further and see if I can see more signs of fake/real.

And then I notice it. Just to the left of the mehadrin hechsher (which I am 90% was indeed fake) - a nice, mid-sized cockroach, waltzing down the post where they were both posted. Not anywhere near the kitchen mind you...

So I walked out, thanking Hashem for this very clear sign that whatever was exactly going on with the kashrus, I definitely did NOT want to be eating there!

The Mighty TP Roll!

What could be every paper substance you could think of - kleenex, paper towel, cleaner-upper, carry it in your pocket and leave one of it on every desk in the office, all in one? Plus what it is supossed to do by definition of its name?

The might toilet paper roll!!!

Only in Israel. :-)

Just don't ask for hand soap - THAT is asking alot.

There's Nothing Wrong in Israel - It's Just that for Hashem, Ein Bayit

People quote various reasons why not to move here. They say this is wrong, and that is wrong, and x, y and z. And you know what? They're right!

There's just one problem. They aren't reasons not to move here. They aren't issues with this beautiful, holy land Hashem gave us. It's because we are still in galus, even here. Especially here. This land I'm living in isn't the real Eretz Yisrael - so it's OK it's not perfect. It's not supposed to be perfect yet.

The holiness of the land is still readily felt. Hashem wants His children home, there is no question. But Hashem ein bayit - G-d does not have a home. So things still have to be imperfect in the world, especially here, so that we remember to sit on the floor a couple minutes a day and pray that Hashem will come home.

It's like a wife that gets kicked out of her house by her husband, and he separates from her. Finally, she gets a letter saying "You can come home now! The door is unlocked." She comes back to the house, and lo and behold, she can come in!

There is just one little problem - her husband isn't there. She looks and looks for him, but he isn't home. So she leaves a big sign on the door "Please Come Home!"

That's us now. We're home, but Hashem isn't. So when things go wrong, instead of getting frustrated and beating your head against a wall, first you ask Hashem to deal with the situation at hand. And then you cry because this is all happening because Hashem doesn't have a house yet, while realizing that G-d willing soon, when G-d does have His House here again, all these problems will dissapear and the land will once again be the beautiful, perfect, Gan Eden on earth that it's supposed to be.

Bimheira v'yameinu.

Seriously? 3 Dead in Israeli Tunnel Attack?

I thought G-d forbid there had been a pegua (terrorist attack). Nope, just the opposite!

Three dead in Israel tunnel attack
Aug 25 - Isreali aircraft bombed a smuggling tunnel in Gaza, killing three Palestinians, following a day of renewed cross-border violence.
Read full story from Reuters

Wow, I'm so sorry. So, 3 Palestianian TERRORISTS were smuggling arms into Israel in order to KILL JEWS and we killed them while trying to apprehend them. My heart cries for them. Seriously. I mean, they were brutally ATTACKED by people trying to protect little me in my apartment while trying to do something illegal and WRONG.

Is it just me or is this story horrifically backwards?

Oh, I forgot. Sorry. Jews aren't allowed to defend themselves. Can I puke now?

Yesh and Ayin Paradox

I had a thought today. This is really deep so try to follow me if you can here:

This world is all Yesh - something. Yesh kesef? (do you have money?) yesh dira? (do you have an apartment?) yesh avoda? (do you have work?) Everywhere - yesh, yesh, yesh. We fill our lives with all this yesh - and yet, really what is it? It is ein - it's nothing. It doesn't last, we can't take it with us, and without an infusion of the spiritual, it really is ein - nothing.

Truly, the only "yesh" that really is "yesh" is Hashem. Hashem is everywhere, speaks every language, is in everything and is the driving force behind everything that ever was, is or will be.

And yet, what is Hashem? Ein. Ein sof. Hashem is in everything but He is in nothing. At the highest, highest level of existence, you get to the Ein Sof - which is the nothing that is everything. Hashem is ein od milvado (from the Torah portion 2 weeks ago) - there is nothing besides Him - but even in that phrase, He is ein.

This world is the yesh that is ein. Hashem is the ein that is yesh.

Sweat

I did a lot of mitzvot today. A LOT.

My friend who I stayed with when I arrived in Israel got engaged this past weekend (she started dating him around when I arrived) and I walked to the L'Chaim after work tonight. It was pretty funny, me walking around Meah Shearim with a map - it looked like a lot farther than it was (that was after I found the right address - originally Google Maps tried to send me deep into East Jerusalem and I knew that wasn't right).

Anyway, so I was very proud that I figured out from there how to walk to a close bus. I got to the bus stop and discovered that the two buses that drop me within minutes of the house don't come there, and the ones that do would only take me one stop before I would need to walk the rest of the way. And a cab? That is WAY to American.

So I did what every Israeli would do in that situation. I walked home. By the time I walked home, then went out and walked Fiona and back, I was completely damp. I mean like my shirt was damp to the touch damp (don't worry I'm drinking water as I write this). Needless to say, the shower I took before the vort was useless and I needed to take another one as often happens here in the summertime. Since every 4 steps here is a mitzvah, man did I do a lot!

I learned an important lesson as well - if you want to do a mitzvah, you might have to sweat a bit. Don't worry - it's worth it.

Army Man

You know what he looks like - the old army guy. Old man's velcro shoes, the army hat, the lined polo shirt and old style pants over a beer belly. They all seem to look alike.

They're here in Israel too. Except here in Israel when they take off the army cap - there's a kippah underneath.

Ironies

In Israel:

I can get Knorr products, but not Manischewitz. But not my favorite Knorr chicken noodle soup packets either.

Osem stuff is everywhere, but I can't find the Osem wafers I bought in America. or the Osem croutons I liked.

Pomegrante syrup and Pringles can be found in every makolet (local convenience shop) but not good old fashioned Manischewitz matzoh ball and soup mix.

You think gefilte fish is expensive in the states at $6 a loaf? How about $13 a loaf (equivalent)!!! This is a Jewish country, why can't I afford gefilte fish???

My favorite white chocolate covered Oreos, only found in America in the holidays - sometimes - available at every candy store, imported from Mexico!

And those carmelized biscuits I discovered they made kosher and special ordered as a treat from when I ate them on airplanes and missed them? Special order as in 200 I bought online for about $25? You got in - every grocery store has them.

I still can't believe that the Craisins I didn't think I could find I shipped and are everywhere, but my matzoh ball soup mix I gave away I needed to have shipped. Who would have thought?

I did find an Asian store near me with kosher seaweed, sushi rice and rice vinegar. That was exciting. All ready for my sushi kits in my lift!

Sheez - Shidduch Craziness

I just got a phone call from Ilan from Bet Shemesh. He tries to talk to me and asks me if I speak Hebrew.

I told him - if you knew me, you would know I only speak a little Hebrew! You must have the wrong number - and hung up.

He called back. He gives the phone to his friend who speaks better English. I ask him - who are you looking for and why are you calling?

Oh, David gave Ilan your number. Ilan is looking for a shidduch.

OK, now I've had some crazy taxi drivers want to know my specs for a shidduch, but this was beyond the pale. I told him I wasn't interested and then prompty got on the phone with David and told him not to give out my phone number without permission under any circumstances.

Now I'm sure you're wondering - well, who is David and how did he have your number in the first place? I mean, you're a good girl!

David was the exterminator who killed the fleas in my apartment. :-)

Hashem, thanks for thinking of me - can you help me get to some REAL shadchanim please???

Holiness of Jerusalem

There is a distinct and palpable difference between the kedusha (holiness) here and in chutz la'aretz (outside of Israel - CLA for short). This is the comparison I've come up with so far -

Weekday in CLA - gutter, no comparison
Shabbos in CLA - weekday in Jerusalem - holiness is there if you search for it
Yom Kippur in CLA - Shabbos in Jerusalem - holiness is palpable and pressing, have to be completely incapable of feeling to miss it
Yom Kippur in Jerusalem - ???