Accepting the Tiny Suffering with Emuna

Harav Arush explains in Gates of Gratitude that by thanking Hashem for the small things, even the most tiny things, and accepting them with emuna, one can spare himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering, AND atone for all his sins! Sounds incredible – and it’s really very easy except that we need first to believe completely in Divine Providence even over the tiniest happening.

One example he gives is a person who asks for a hot drink, and receives a cold one – or vise-versa. Accepting this with emuna means taking this very small happening and seeing only Hashem and His Divine Providence – and saying: This is what Hashem wants, and therefore this is what Hashem wants! Such a person smiles, and drinks the “incorrect” drink happily. If the waitress, or wife, or child comes up to him saying – “Oh my, I made a mistake! I'm so sorry! Do you want me to exchange your hot chocolate for the shoko that you ordered?” he says – “No mistakes here, kacha Hashem rotzeh – this is what Hashem wants! Thank you so much!” This person adds mitzvot to his mitzvot, atones for all his sins, and spares himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering.

Let’s see what the opposite looks like – such a person fails to see Hashem and His Divine Providence. Instead, he yells and insults the waitress, his wife, or the child who made the mistake: “You never get it right! This is too cold! This is too hot! I wanted something else! Do you have a brain in your head?” and the like. This person adds many sins to his basket, of course gets no atonement for his sins and will get much more suffering his way c”v.

These examples make this concept seem oh-so-easy. But in real life, I'm finding it very difficult to fulfill. Do I accept it with love when my toddler throws paper pieces all over his just cleaned room and hallway, not yell or get angry, and say – Thank you Hashem for sparing me much worse suffering! Kacha Hashem rotzeh! Hashem did this! Or do I see the toddler… the examples are endless because these little sufferings happen absolutely all the time. They are for the very best if we see Hashem through them, accept them with love and don’t sin against the person or thing which brought us the suffering – including ourselves and the seeming mistakes we make. A person stubs his toe – do you say “Thank you Hashem” or blame yourself for missing the doorstop? As I've begun to notice my reactions, inevitably what seems like such a simple, obvious teaching becomes readily apparent for the very big work that it is. But the first step, as always – is to recognize that this is the truth, want to fulfill it, and PRAY to fulfill it.

Happy Zot Chanukah! Chabura Tonight

B'H

As the sun fades along with the light of Chanukah, I wanted to share with you a small piece of daat that I spoke to Hashem about today during my hitbodedut. It isn’t from Harav Arush exactly, but based on things I have heard from him, as well as from Rabbi Nosson Maimon and Rabbi Michel Twerski of Milwaukee on this subject.

REMINDER: CHABURA MEETS TONIGHT! 8PM

Next week – back to usual Tuesday night 8:15PM

Zot Chanukah is a funny day. It gets me every year. Besides the few hours that the Chanukiah actually burns with the flames of all 8 candles lit, most of the day – the holiest, strongest day of Chanukah – it sits quiet and silent. It’s still Chanukah, but where is the light? I struggle to remember that it is still Chanukah, even – with no presents to look forward to, no candle lighting tonight, no more doughnuts and no more dreidle and gelt.

I was talking to Hashem about this today and suddenly it hit me – the light that burns in the Chanukah candles is the ohr ein sof  - the unending light of Creation. Using it you can see from one end of the world to the other. Really, this day of Zot Chanukah it burns the brightest because it is the connection between the first 7 days when it burned in physicality and the rest of the year, when it burns in spirituality only. And how can we access it the rest of the year?

IN THE TORAH. The Torah is also the ohr ein sof – using the Torah it is possible to see all of Creation, to know everything, if only one knows how to mine the Torah for that information. I believe it was the Chazon Ish (correct me if I'm wrong) who developed a new method of brain surgery in order to help someone who came to him and the doctors didn’t know how to operate on his brain tumor – and the Chazon Ish based on the Torah gave that doctor exact instructions on how to do the surgery an alternate, safer way. Many such stories abound in fact. Rabbi Lazer Brody loves reminding people that you can learn all of geometry through the laws of Sukkah in the Gemara, including pi and others. It is possible to know everything through the Torah.

This comes with an important aside. We must recognize the principle importance of the Torah!!! I hear from people all the time, and even used to believe myself, in Torah that is “added to by the wisdom of the world around us” and the like. Why, we should be worldly Jews, right? NO!!! That is what Chanukah is all about. It gets me every year that as a child in public school I learned all about Greek culture etc. etc. And that “beautiful democratic” society we were taught to love and admire – THAT society is exactly the society that is against the Jews, against Judaism, who we fought and won in the Chanukah story, whose victory over that same society we celebrate every year. That society that tried to make us deny the Torah and forbid us from keeping from some of its most important commandments, including Rosh Chodesh, Shabbos and brit milah.

And that’s is what Chanukah comes to remind us about, year after year. Sure the wisdom of the non-Jews, Greek philosophy and everything else, looks great. It’s all diamonds – looks nice and shiny but on the inside it is empty - really it is DARKNESS. Compared to the light of the Torah, which is the Truth of Hashem Himself and contains in it that same ohr ein sof that burns in the Chanukah candles, the supposed wisdom of the non-Jews is utter darkness and confusions, borne out of their own lusts and desires and their desire to fulfill them, and hold by a philosophy that enables them to do that. That is why every single nation refused to accept the Torah – each nation wanted their lust and desire, their sin, and didn’t want to keep a Torah that told them to change. It is also the primary reason why accepting the Torah upon ourselves is so difficult according to Rebbe Nachman as he explains in Likutei Moharan – the Torah tells us to curb some lust or desire we have (for instance, our innate desire to please and act like the goyim around us!) and we don’t want to listen, we don’t want to be challenged to change, we don’t want to give up that forbidden thing. So we deny the Torah, or change the Torah (really they are the same thing) in order to keep our lusts and desires.

Even more, Chanukah is all about belief in the tzaddik. We aren’t celebrating all the people who were Hellenists and acted like Greeks. We celebrate “Matityahu Kohen Gadol and his sons” – the tzaddik of the generation – who recognized that in order for Judaism to survive, he had to stand against Greek culture and its subversions. And Hashem helped him. And Purim too – everything was in the merit of Mordechai, the tzaddik of that generation. So BOTH of the holidays of “exile” are celebrations of the Tzaddik of the generation, and the Jews who followed him.

So what about us in this generation?! We can survive without following the tzaddik? To celebrate Chanukah and Purim IS to recognize that the only way to make it through exile is to follow everything they say, even if they say fight the mighty Greek empire! Fight the mighty Persian empire! Don’t go to the feast of the non-Jews, even if it’s 100% glatt kosher! So whose side do we want to be on today? Whose side do you think Jews of the future are going to celebrate – those who followed the tzaddik and had true emunat tzaddikim (belief in the true tzaddikim), or those who didn’t?!

Don’t worry that it’s dark outside now and Chanukah is over. We still have the light of the Torah, and the light of the true Tzaddikim, lighting up the way for us – IF ONLY WE CONNECT TO THEM, BELIEVE IN THEM, AND FOLLOW THEM NO MATTER WHAT – even and especially when that means leaving behind the ways, dress, jobs, lands, and opinions of the non-Jews.

Emuna is the Only Answer to Fear and the Only Way to Cope

In response to a Q&A regarding a little boy who is now afraid to go to sleep, and when told that Hashem guards him, asked: "And where was Hashem for the 3 boys who were kidnapped?!" The mother asked in a forum for the answer to her son, and herself.

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I also asked this same question, just like the mother who wrote in, we are all asking this question, kal v’chomer after Har Nof and all the other things that are happening to the Jewish people. I also am afraid. This little boy doesn’t need child therapy – he just has less keilim to cope ie deny the fear than we adults do! He needs the answer, just like his mother, just like me, just like all of Klal Yisrael.

Well there is only one answer, and that is emuna. It is pashut Halacha from the Shulchan Aruch that a Jew must know that everything Hashem does is GOOD. This is emuna – which is also the very first commandment in the Torah – to know Hashem. We must know Hashem, believe in Him and know that everything He does is for the very best! Of course we all constantly need to strengthen our emuna, especially in the face of such tragedies, but it is the ONLY ANSWER. The only answer to the questions, and the only answer to the fear. The reality is that we cannot understand what Hashem is doing – if we could then we would be G-d Himself. But we can see His goodness in other ways and thereby strengthen our emuna to know that everything He does is indeed good, even and especially when we cannot see it. The Midrash says that when Moshiach comes, we will get a double nechama – we will know that there will be no more suffering, which is a big nechama. But Moshiach will also show us that all of history was all for the best, he will turn around the tapestry that we’ve only seen the underside of so to speak – and knowing that all the suffering was for the best will be an even greater nechama. We don’t have to wait for Moshiach! We can strengthen our emuna now, to know that everything is for the best, that things might seem so very out of control but truly Hashem IS indeed in control of all of it – ein od milvado (that means no terrorist has power for us to fear them!), and if we just call out to Him in prayer, just like we did in Mitzrayim, then Hashem will surely redeem us, just like He did in Mitrayim!

Surely we all need to pray for emuna, especially to really believe that everything is for the very best, and we also to pray to not bear the brunt of such tests R”L. And we have to learn about emuna, just like every other mitzvah in the Torah – the books I found the most helpful were The Garden of Emuna and The Garden of Gratitude, both by Rabbi Shalom Arush Shlita. Although there are many others, I found these books in particular to lay out the fundamentals of these mitzvot the most clearly and understandably, with lots of stories, examples and inspiration. I can personally vouch that the only reason why I am at least partially sane and not totally frozen by this same fear is because of these books which taught me emuna. Although obviously having 100% belief with no fear whatsoever is a work in progress, just having the answer, and knowing where to turn with these questions helps immensely. In fact it’s everything!

Getting out of concealment

In The Garden of Gratitude (can't recommend this one highly enough, especially if you can read it in the original Hebrew) Rabbi Arush explains a concept that in my opinion, solves the situation in Israel right now (what follows is me paraphrasing the book): He says that sometimes Hashem does something that is totally unexplainable. If a person becomes sad and complains about this situation, saying that it is bad, etc. – then he fails to see Hashem in that situation, which is a lack of emuna. Because of this, the person then falls under hastara – concealment. Now, more things happen to the person that are totally unexaplainable and seem bad, without a good in them. If the person continues to complain and not see Hashem, then the cycle continues, with more and more bad things happening to the person that are confusing and perhaps downright evil. But if the person chooses to praise and thank Hashem, even though it really does look bad, then Hashem saves the person and eventually, they will understand how what happened was totally for the best. And if a person has already gotten into a negative cycle of hastara doubling and re-doubling itself, they can stop the process by starting to thank Hashem for EVERYTHING and strengthen their emuna that everything is for the very best. Then the hastara will go away, and Hashem will save them and show them how everything is indeed for the very best!

 

This is true on an individual level, which is what Rabbi Arush was discussing in the book. But it certainly is true on a global level as well! In Israel, people are frightened by seemingly senseless terror attacks which are happening, seemingly at random, all the time. The attacks continue to get more gruesome and terrifying, and people are truly afraid. Afraid to walk down the street, afraid to stand at a bustop, afraid to ride the train, afraid to go shopping, afraid to leave the house. Afraid! The cycle of violence continues to escalate, seemingly completely out of hand. The situation in Ch”l isn’t much better, with reports of anti-semitic attacks and propaganda from literally all over the world, also escalating daily, coming to a low boil and threatening to explode R”L. This to me seems like the solution. If Klal Yisrael, instead of being afraid, complaining and seeing the evil – if we would only start thanking Hashem and strengthening our emuna, not complaining at all, knowing instead that there is absolutely no evil in the world and everything comes from Hashem, and only Hashem can permit a terrorist to touch a hair on a Jew’s head, then the concealment surely would go away completely, and Hashem would surely save us from our enemies!!!

 

*One note – Harav Arush was very strong a few weeks ago that we are not to thank Hashem that another Jew is suffering c”v. We thank Hashem for everything in our private lives since Hashem is waking us up, and that is good! And in general, we can thank Hashem that He is waking up all of Klal Yisrael, and showing us that we have no one to lean on besides Him, and that we know in general everything is for the best etc., but we don’t G-d forbid say something like “thank you Hashem that 4 Jews were killed in Har Nof.” We cry for the suffering of other Jews, but we do not allow ourselves to fall under the concealment that Hashem is not there. Instead, we thank Hashem for all the good that He is surely doing for us, even within the suffering, and strengthen our emuna that everything is for the best, the evil is really not able to touch us at all if we cling to Hashem, and surely Hashem will save us if we only call out to Him.