Accepting the Tiny Suffering with Emuna

Harav Arush explains in Gates of Gratitude that by thanking Hashem for the small things, even the most tiny things, and accepting them with emuna, one can spare himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering, AND atone for all his sins! Sounds incredible – and it’s really very easy except that we need first to believe completely in Divine Providence even over the tiniest happening.

One example he gives is a person who asks for a hot drink, and receives a cold one – or vise-versa. Accepting this with emuna means taking this very small happening and seeing only Hashem and His Divine Providence – and saying: This is what Hashem wants, and therefore this is what Hashem wants! Such a person smiles, and drinks the “incorrect” drink happily. If the waitress, or wife, or child comes up to him saying – “Oh my, I made a mistake! I'm so sorry! Do you want me to exchange your hot chocolate for the shoko that you ordered?” he says – “No mistakes here, kacha Hashem rotzeh – this is what Hashem wants! Thank you so much!” This person adds mitzvot to his mitzvot, atones for all his sins, and spares himself 5,000 times that amount of suffering.

Let’s see what the opposite looks like – such a person fails to see Hashem and His Divine Providence. Instead, he yells and insults the waitress, his wife, or the child who made the mistake: “You never get it right! This is too cold! This is too hot! I wanted something else! Do you have a brain in your head?” and the like. This person adds many sins to his basket, of course gets no atonement for his sins and will get much more suffering his way c”v.

These examples make this concept seem oh-so-easy. But in real life, I'm finding it very difficult to fulfill. Do I accept it with love when my toddler throws paper pieces all over his just cleaned room and hallway, not yell or get angry, and say – Thank you Hashem for sparing me much worse suffering! Kacha Hashem rotzeh! Hashem did this! Or do I see the toddler… the examples are endless because these little sufferings happen absolutely all the time. They are for the very best if we see Hashem through them, accept them with love and don’t sin against the person or thing which brought us the suffering – including ourselves and the seeming mistakes we make. A person stubs his toe – do you say “Thank you Hashem” or blame yourself for missing the doorstop? As I've begun to notice my reactions, inevitably what seems like such a simple, obvious teaching becomes readily apparent for the very big work that it is. But the first step, as always – is to recognize that this is the truth, want to fulfill it, and PRAY to fulfill it.