Amazing news, outright miracles

I have beyond incredible news – Reb Shimon Arush and his family – all four of them – left the hospital today!!! Outright miracles!!!

That being said, it is not easy. The family still needs treatments (I don’t know details) and physical support, especially since neither parent is strong and healthy enough to deal with 2 healthy kids, let alone 2 sick kids just out of the hospital. Additionally, emotionally, now the reality of little Faige Chana z”l is really hitting them – I spoke today with Daniela, and my husband with Reb Shimon, and both of us felt the same thing after getting off the phone – they both sounded really weak, like we could hardly hear them. Hardly themselves. But Reb Shimon was really strong with my husband: “Rak Todah. Rak Todah” – “Only thank you.”

I hear Harav in my head over and over again: thank you Hashem that the rest of the family is alive. That in the merit of Faige Chana z”l who was taken as a korban for all of Klal Yisrael, they are alive to live through the suffering in the first place. Alive. And out of the hospital. To not deny the good done for us, in our pain over the loss.

Harav Arush was very strong in his shiur tonight – one way or another, a person must speak to Hashem. If you are not at the level of emuna to say thank you for everything, OK. So go to Hashem and say “It hurts me. It is hard for me. I don’t understand. Give me emuna. Give me the emuna to say thank you.” But go to Hashem!!! And to focus on your will – maybe you can't do something. But go to Hashem and say “I WANT to do this.” The only true free choice (bechira) that we have is our will, our good desires. The success (or failure) is only up to Hashem, but we can choose what we want, what we yearn for.

Holy yearning is the highest thing. In a class for Rebbe Nachman’s yahrtzeit a few years ago, Rabbi Arush spoke about the tremendous importance of good will and yearning for holiness, for emuna, for Hashem. The yearning creates angels which run around the world. A person can run into that angel, and suddenly, they wake up and desire what you yearned for! Even the biggest rasha (evil person), if he runs into that good will you created, and he has just a single thought of teshuva – just a thought! (hirhur) of doing teshuva – all his sins are erased, and now he can truly do teshuva because he doesn’t have harsh judgments on him. In the next world, you get the merit of this person doing teshuva, and you’re like – I don’t know him! Yes, but he did teshuva because of your desire!!!

So don’t get frustrated if you want to do something, and it’s not your level. You want to thank Hashem and not deny the good He did in healing Reb Shimon’s family, but you just can't get over the pain of losing Faige Chana z”l. It’s OK. Ask Hashem to give you that level, to give you complete emuna, to help you not kick the suffering and deny the good. Want to be at that level, and do your very best to thank Hashem. So you wanted to do that mitzvah, and you could not. Don’t let the Evil Inclination get you down – your holy will, and prayers to fulfill that mitzvah in the future are so precious. More precious, in fact, than even doing that mitzvah without will. In whatever you do or don’t accomplish, the main thing is the will!